Tips for Travel Photography

"To judge a thing, one must first know the standard." - Sanskrit Proverb.

Monday, April 27, 2009
I felt relief when it stopped raining around 5 pm because I had to attend a Toastmasters meeting at JTC (Jakarta Toastmasters Club). I hoped on the way there, the traffic would be friendly. My wish came true. I left home at 5.45 and reached the meeting place at 6.40 pm. A week before, the appointed TOM (Toastmasters of the Meeting) for the evening, DTM (Distinguish Toastmasters) Harlina Indra offered me to evaluate Matthew Price's speech. I said yes to her though I knew it's not always easy for me to be an individual evaluator. And yet, I dared to take the challenge because I knew that Toastmasters is the best place to learn and to practice what you have learned. Does it sound interesting now?

So, when I met Matthew at JTC, he handed over his speech manual to me and whispered, "Vina, I think you are not the right person to evaluate my speech tonight. You don't like traveling and I'll be talking about it." When he grinned amiably at me after finishing his words, I knew he was just teasing me. Matthew is a humble and friendly guy. He is always full of creativity every time he delivers his speech. For sure, I was lucky to be his evaluator that evening.

Matthew would deliver project no. 1 (The Speech to Inform) from Advanced Communication Manual, Speaking to Inform. The objectives of this project are:

• The information is new and useful to the audience.
• The speech should be clearly organized for easy understandability and retention.
  
• The speaker is advised to present the information in a way that help motivates the audience to learn.
• Time: five to seven minutes.

And, his speech title was: TIPS FOR TRAVEL PHOTOGRAPHY

Now, let me share my evaluation with you:

1. Photography is a new subject to most of us so the topic is relevant to the audience.
2. I truly believe that Matthew was well prepared as he was familiar and comfortable with his material.
3. He put his own photos into 'Power Point' and used them as visual aids to enhance his message.
4. He was confident, took control of the stage with natural body movement and good eye contact.
5. His speech was clearly organized.

I would like to explain in more detail regarding point number 5 above. A good speech should have a strong opening, organized body and a memorable closing or conclusion.

On his presentation, Matthew directly grabbed the audience's attention with a strong opening. He took out his pocket camera and was directly into action as if he was taking pictures. Then, body of the speech which plays an important role to enhance his message. In this part, he started showing his slides while explaining the three important aspects of photography, i.e. people, landscape and creativity.

1. People

If your focus is people, please make sure that they are clearly seen and big enough to become center of attention.

2. Landscape
Put the horizon line on the upper or lower part of the center line. In other words, don't put the horizon line in the middle.

3. Creativity
Be creative in your photo shooting.

At the end, Matthew closed his speech with a beautiful and creative slide. It was the picture of him jumping in the air. I thought his closing would even be stronger if he also jumped in front of us imitating his pose on the last slide.

Anyway, Matthew's message was educational and effective for me. I learned new thing that night. And, for sure that I would remember these three simple aspects of photography long after that night. Thank you Matthew for sharing your knowledge with us and for giving me the permission to share three of your photos here.

Before I left JTC, Matthew gave me a beautiful calender from the Australian Embassy. From total of thirteen pictures, three photos taken by Matthew were included. I was grateful and said to him that I would keep it as long as I could.

At last, let me close this writing by sharing a beautiful words from Goldsmith: "People seldom improve when they have no other model but themselves to copy after."

Character

Some time ago I came across the following poem in one of the books I read:

Don't walk behind me, I will not lead;
Don't walk in front of me, I will not follow;
Just walk beside me and be my friend.

These words sum up clearly and concisely the expectations of any parents if one day their young adult children are ready to leave the nest. However, before the time comes, let's ask ourselves: What have we done to prepare our children so one day they are ready to fly with their own wings? In parenting our child, most of us interact in a way that comes naturally. In other words, we are the legacy our parents and/or grandparents has left behind. However, as time has changed during the past four decades, our parenting styles also need adjustment to cope with this. We can't only depend on the past solutions we learned from older generation. As a matter of fact, we have to improve our parenting knowledge. The future is now. We are preparing our children for the future. In other words, think about the future while parenting in the present.

Now, what is the most important key our children should have? It is CHARACTER. A person's character is one's destiny. Positive character determines the inner strength. It is a strong foundation to moral functioning or integrity. The patterns children establish early in life will live out later. And character is always formed in a child's early life in strong bonding and relationship among the family and extended family members.

So, what can we do to develop a positive character in our children? There are three things we can start with:

1. RESPONSIBILITY
Our children need to know that they are responsible for themselves. Their problems are their own problems, so no one else to be blamed. We have to make them understand that they must gradually take responsibility for their own problems. What begins as the parent's burden must end up as theirs. For example, I've prepared my children to be responsible for their own study since the first grade. At the time, I only help them to gradually develop their self-learning ability. It was not easy at first. However, it was worth all the effort involved.

2. RESPECT
Have you ever been in a relationship with a friend who can't respect your boundaries? It is a tiring and difficult thing to cope, isn't it? It is our job to make our children realize that if they grow up not respecting others, their future will be in jeopardy. Children tend to be mirrors in which we see ourselves. They reflect our behavior, habits, attitudes and ways of seeing life. So before we teach our children, make sure we are respecting theirs and others.

Here are some rules:

• Don't hurt others
• Understand that we are different from each other
  
• Show respect to people around you, especially to your spouse
  
• Feel sad instead of mad when we don't get what we want

A good lesson we can teach our children is that the world doesn't belong to only them and they have to share it with others. It's okay when they don't always get what they want.

3. MOTIVATION
During Q&A (Question and Answer) session at my parenting seminar in schools, most parents complained that their children don't have enough motivation to study. How could this happen? And what can you do to help them develop good motivation?

• Fear of consequences. Thing to do: Avoid angry punishment. Don't give your child guilt and shame messages.
  
• Immature conscience. Thing to do: Avoid over-strictness or under-strictness.
• Detachment and conditional love. Thing to do: Create a supportive relationship and love unconditionally.

We know that parents play an important role in bringing up a child. Especially nowadays, our task becomes much more difficult. So, keep on improving ourselves in order to become a better parent for the children as their future depends on how we develop them now. As I do agree with what Jacqueline Kennedy said: "If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do well matters very much."

The Love Needs

Our marriage life is dead. Our sex life is almost nonexistent. My spouse and I don't talk much anymore. I don't see how we can ever have a great marriage. I'm not sure my spouse really wants me. We argue more than we ever did before. We still live under one roof for the sake of the children. Are you familiar with these conditions and thinking, That's us? If yes, then this article is for you.

If you are at that point of discouragement in your marriage, take heart. You always can restore the damage provided both of you want to work it out. I've been married for more than eighteen years and feel that it's very important to stay connected to our spouse. The reason is that I don't want to miss out on the joy of a great marriage. After up and down in the first ten years of my marriage, I learned that the most important thing to preserve your marriage is TO UNDERSTAND & MEET EACH OTHER'S LOVE NEEDS, such as:

1. Acceptance
2. Companionship
3. Romance

ACCEPTANCE
Acceptance means, "I will stay with you no matter what. I will always love you and support you." It's easy to say but difficult to do especially in the midst of tough times, isn't? Anyhow, my husband is a good example of this. I once asked him, "We've been married for quite a long time. You know me inside out and outside in. I'm impulsive and straightforward, don't like to travel, I sometimes nag you and hurt your feelings. If only you could go back to the time you decided to marry me, would you still do the same or you would marry someone else?" "I would marry no one, but you," he said. "I've been living with you for many years and it never comes to my mind that I want to replace this with someone else. I have no regrets, my dear. I love you whoever you are and always see the positive sides of you."

I couldn't believe my ears, but felt relief that he only answered my question and didn't throw it back to me. I knew I wasn't as ready as he was to answer such question. However, from that moment, I felt that I was lucky to have this humble and simple man, not only as my husband but also as father of my children. He is wise, kind and understanding. He has been very supportive for all these years. He gives me chance to develop and improve myself and never complains if I keep on buying books. So, in my opinion acceptance is the cornerstone for unconditional love.

COMPANIONSHIP
Our partner should be our best friend. It means that we have to develop a level of trust that will enable us to feel honesty, trust and safe. Here are some tips to create an intimate companionship:

• Show that you care
• Listen without judging
• Offer encouragement
• Give undivided attention
  
• Share your own experience to draw your spouse closer to you
• Learn some of the things your spouse is interested in
• Be present if needed

There is a saying that "The couple that plays together stays together." However, this doesn't mean that we have to be "good" at everything our spouse excels at and we don't have to be as enthusiastic about things as they are. What matters is that we validate their interest and join them in some of their activities. For example, my husband likes to watch football games on TV and I only accompany him once in a while. But, I update myself on football news to maintain a positive conversation with him. My husband is not a Toastmasters like me, but he has been well informed on my activities in Toastmasters. So, to maintain a good companionship we've got to maintain an open communication.

ROMANCE
Romance is love or the feeling of being in love. After years of marriage, most of us seem to overlook one of the most important things to preserve our marriage. It is to nurture a romantic relationship. If you are not a romantic person, you need to learn how to become one. Otherwise, your relationship will go sour. Maybe you could start by writing a simple love letter. Or, if you can't, find the one written by someone else and read it for your spouse. If it's still difficult, just print it out and hand it over to your spouse for reading. Does it sound easy now?

At the 'love letter' session in one of our Toastmasters meetings, there was a beautiful letter written by one of my fellows Toastmasters. He said that he wrote it for someone special but never sent it out. I then asked if I could include his letter on my writing and publish it in my blog. He agreed and sent it to me by e-mail. I like it very much and hope that you will like it, too. I've read it over and over again, and hopefully it can be a source of inspiration for you to write your own love letters.

My love,
You asked how much I need you? Must I explain?
I need you like roses need rain.

You asked how much I miss you... let me explain,
Raising in the morning, my first thought is of you.
I dream of you every night.

You asked how much I love you?
You asked how long will I love you?
Must I explain?

I love you till the clover lost its perfume,
I love you till the blue bells forget to bloom,
And that is a very, very long time...

Affectionately yours,
XOXOXO

At last, no matter what position is your marriage now, remember that ACCEPTANCE, COMPANIONSHIP and ROMANCE can always be a path to enhance your love every day, every hour and every minute.

Taylor Swift

If you have a sixteen years old daughter and she asks you to listen to the songs of her favorite teenage artist. What would you do? Say yes? My word, it is hard to buy!

Sunday night, April 12
While holding a CD, my sixteen years old daughter, Lisa asked if I had a plan to go out the following day. At first, I had no idea why she threw that question. I told her that on Monday evening, I would attend the meeting at JTC (Jakarta Toastmasters Club) as usual. She then handed the CD over to me and asked if I would like to listen to Taylor Swift's songs on my car audio. Now I knew what she was up to. She knows that I only listen to the music when I am driving. So hopefully, I would listen to the CD on my way to JTC. It was Taylor Swift's first album, Fearless. I almost said no to her instantly and was grateful that I didn't do it. I thought I wouldn't like the songs written by this young and talented artist like Taylor Swift though she is now one of Lisa's favorite singers. However, I said to myself, hold on, don't let her down. At least listen to the music before telling her your opinion.

Monday evening, April 13
When I left home heading for JTC, I forgot to bring the CD. So I missed the chance to find something out why Lisa loves Taylor Swift so much. Before I entered the meeting room at JTC, I received a call from the school car driver who always brings Lisa to school every day. He said that his car was still in the garage so he couldn't pick Lisa up the following morning. Blessing in disguise! It suddenly came to my mind that what a perfect moment for me to drive Lisa to her school while listening to Taylor Swift's CD.

Tuesday, April 14
When I woke up in the morning, I put the CD on top of my handbag right away. It was to make sure that I didn't miss it again. Lisa was surprised when she knew that I would bring her to school. I played the CD as soon as we were inside the car. I thought if I didn't like the songs, I could explain to her directly.

To my surprise, I fell in love with Taylor Swift even though I've just listened to her first song. The lyrics were sweet and simple. Especially the song called 'The Best Day'. It was about the best days Taylor spent with her father. I love the song very much as it brings back all the memories I ever had with my late father more than 30 years ago.

I have an excellent father
his strength is making me stronger...

Now I know why all the trees change in the Fall
I know you were on my side even when I was wrong
and I love you for giving me your eyes
staying back watching me shine and I didn't know if you knew
so I'm taking this chance to say that I had the best day with you today

- Taylor Swift -

I love you, Lisa
I love you so much
and I'm glad that you care for me

Thank you for letting me listen to those beautiful songs
especially 'The Best Day'
It means a lot to me

Love,
Mom

PS: Please let me know if you need the CD back.

The Interview (part 2)

"Now please let me know what you've got after learning vocal for more than eighteen months."

"Walter Gagehot said that a great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. For me, a great pleasure in life is doing what people don't expect you can do."

"You quoted Walter Gagehot. I like it."

"I was appointed as Master of Ceremony at a Toastmasters leadership training two months ago. It was exactly on February 14, the Valentine Day. So, when I was given the control to open the session, I did what people didn't expect me to do. You're all I need, my love, my Valentine. I sang for my audience. It was only a tiny part of a song before I continued with my greetings: Good afternoon everybody! HAPPY VALENTINE TO ALL OF YOU. Don't you think that my fellow toastmasters deserved a little difference for that special day? If I don't routinely spend time with my coach, probably I didn't have the guts to sing in front of one hundred people at that time. So, point number one: singing has increased my self confidence even more."

"Now, let's move to point number two. As coach and public speaker, sometimes I have to speak for hours. Here, voice plays a very important role. To maintain its quality, we need to know how to breathe correctly using the diaphragm. The way we inhale and exhale or breathe in and breathe out determines how much oxygen we can bring into our internal organs. Hopefully, the more we bring oxygen inside our body, the more we will look younger than our age. Practicing yoga also helps improve our breathing. So, in my opinion, singing plus yoga is useful to maintain the quality of your voice."

"It makes sense."

"As a matter of fact. I'm enjoying the grateful shade of my coach, Charles Nasution. I feel so lucky to know him. And, what I really like about him is he adores, admires and respects his teacher, Mrs Catharina W. Leimena so much. Madam Catharin is a prominent singing coach in this country. Charles told me that though he has been seeing his teacher for eighteen years, he always has a new thing to learn every time he comes to her. Can you imagine, after all this time, he is still passionate for what he is doing. This is a very good example, isn't it?"

"Now, let's go back to the benefit of my singing lesson. It's point number three, I guess. Knowing more helps you improve your judging ability and develop your critical thinking. American Idol is one of the best programs to give my knowledge a test."

"Don't you have any specific intention when you decided to enroll in this private singing course?"

"You mean, becoming a professional singer? No, I didn't. Singing is my soul. It's a spontaneous and natural act for me. I like singing and love to sing. When I was young, of course I ever dreamed to become a singer. But now, it's a different world. I'm happy with who I'm now: a mother of two teenagers, a lovely wife to my husband, a coach and a public speaker. For me, singing has painted my life with new light and bright colors."

"When vocalizing, I have a certain pitch to reach. It really needs a constant practice to arrive at the lowest and highest note I suppose to hit. Charles told me that it takes time and process to be at the level I'm capable of. I realize that I can always raise the bar though I have to do it with each millimeter. This kind of feeling is relevant to any aspect of my life. I know I can always achieve the target I set as long as I do it seriously and with high determination. Now I have set a new target. Two years from now, I would like to sing in front of one thousand people."

"I believe it will happen to you, Vina."

"Thank you so much! I still remember what my coach, Michel Gagne ever told me. He said that to be successful in what you are doing, you have to make yourself visible. I believe it's true. When you enjoy what you are doing, people will notice it. So, automatically you can be visible. But, behind the scene you need to do your homework. I think the quotation I picked and chose from Elmer Letterman, "Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity" suits the whole things to a T.

The end.

The Interview (part 1)

Our passions - those pursuits that we love to do, the things that provide us with the greatest sense of fulfillment - also go a long way in determining our personal values.

On Tuesday, March 31, I received a short message from a Senior Editor of a prominent woman magazine from Femina Group. She asked if I had time to talk to her about my singing course. At first, I was a bit confused. I had just been interviewed by her last December. The topic was about relationship between mother and teenagers. Now, again for a different topic? Anyway, I'm a people oriented person and like to see and talk to people. So how I could say no to her and miss this golden opportunity?

We then met the following day.

"Vina, I remember last time we met you talked about your singing course and today I would like to dig into it. Why do you learn how to sing and what is it for you?" she asked.

"From the dictionary, to learn means to gain knowledge or skill by studying. It could be from experience or being taught. But I would like to add something here. For me, to learn is not only to GAIN knowledge or skill, but also to MAINTAIN or IMPROVE it. For people who already knows me for years, probably they are curious why I still need a singing teacher. Actually, I prefer to call it a singing coach. I've been singing since I was a little kid till I finished high school and mostly I did my performance at school. I believe singing is a gift from God because not everybody can sing. When I was in junior high school many many years ago, I insisted my mom to hire a singing teacher for me but we couldn't find one. Today, I'm happy to have what I couldn't have in the past. Besides, as both of my children has become less and less dependent, I have more time and more energy for my self. I can create chances for self-development. And yet, the most important thing is I have the opportunity to do things I'm passionate about. For example: reading, singing and speaking. That's why I'm always happy to spend my time at home reading as many books as I wish; Meet my singing coach once a week and come to Toastmasters meetings to improve my speaking skill."

"It sounds interesting."

"Yes. It feels great if you are passion for what you do. Singing is a skill that we need to maintain. And to do so, a coach plays a very important role. Every time if I don't have the right voice placement while vocalizing or singing, he always gives me a code. He told me that he is paid for his ears, a sharp ones of course." I then showed my interviewer what vocalizing is."

"So tell me how did you find your coach."

"Firstly, It was my husband. He can't sing no matter how hard he tries. So, he always wanted me to sing at any wedding reception we attended and I was reluctant to do so. One day he said to me that he can't understand why I don't like to show my ability in public. So, at my brother-in-law's wedding reception in February 2006, I did sing two mandarin songs just to please him. You know, I received a compliment from one of his relatives afterward. She said, that if I become a singer, she would like to be my manager. My husband was so proud of me. But I had a different view. I did the singing and he got the credit."

"Secondly, when we were cruising off Pulau Seribu during JTC (Jakarta Toastmasters Club) outing gathering in July 29, 2007, we had a karaoke session. One of my friends said to me that when I sing I do it with my soul. I was flattered and amused. But deep in my heart, I knew that my singing ability was still not as good as many people thought."

"At last, when I attended a commemoration service at my sister's house in August 2007, there was a singer who sang beautifully. At diner, I paid him a compliment and asked if he had a singing teacher. Guess what his answer was: YES! I was so delighted when I found out that the address was not far from home. Later that night, I told my husband that I would like to have a coach to improve my singing skill. I said that would like to start in January 2008. His comment was why did I have to wait if I could do it as soon as possible."

"I see."

"Yeah, that's how I found my coach more than eighteen months ago. I didn't wait for the ship to come in, I swim out to it."

to be continued...

I Made It!

Last night, I was lying on my bed holding my favorite book 'Outliers' when suddenly I heard the sound of footsteps approaching my room. It was my son, Eric. He is now studying at year 12 and soon will go to a university for further study. Two days ago, he told me that he didn't get through NTU & NUS (Singapore), but now, it was a different story.
"Mom & Dad, I made it! I go through the University of Indonesia (UI). Do you want to see the announcement?"
"Of course! How can I resist it." I said to him. So, I jumped out of the bed and in few seconds, my husband and I were already in front of the computer letting Eric lead us to the information he was about to disclose. While listening to his explanation, I turned my head to the right side of the wall and glanced through the clock. It was only shortly after midnight. Eric is always precise with what he is doing, I said to myself. The date April 4, 2009 was the very date UI would send out the announcement to all of the students who joined the placement test on March 1, 2009.

Firstly, we read the announcement. We congratulated him and were very happy for him. Among tens of thousands year 12 students from 37 cities in Indonesia, Eric was included in the acceptance list. As parents, we are always proud of him. No matter if he fails or succeeds. For me, who never ever had a chance to study in University, the news Eric brought last night was a blessing. It is my dream that one day my children will have a better education than what I had in the past.

Secondly, Eric told us that to study Information Technology, he prefers ITB to UI. So, he still needs to wait for few days to make a decision. Since the placement test for ITB was harder than UI, we realize that his chance to go to ITB is not so good. Then through websites, Eric showed us the program difference if he studies IT at UI compared to ITB. He also shared with us the syllabus of computer studies. There are five majors in studying computer and I hope I still can remember all of them: Computer Engineering, Computer Science, Computer Software, Information Technology and Information Science and only the last two (IT and IS) are available to study in Indonesia.

Finally, since early February '09, Eric had prepared himself for the schedule below:

ROAD TO UNIVERSITY:
Feb 21 & 22 '09 : NTU Entrance Examination Test at Canisius College
Mar 1 '09 : UI Test at SMAN 44, Jl. Delima IV, Perumnas Klender, East Jakarta
Mar 12 & 13 '09 : Singapore Scholarship Entrance Test at Singapore Embassy (Temasek Hall)
Mar 13 '09 : Pick up Identity Card for ITB Test at MAN Insan Cendekia, BSD
Mar 14 & 15 '09 : ITB Test at MAN Insan Cendekia, BSD
At the same time, from March 11 till 17, Eric had block examinations at School.

Now, what can I say?
1. I appreciated the work and effort Eric had done to reach his objective.
2. Eric knows what he wants to study.
3. Eric has planned his work and worked his plan.
4. One of the values every member in my family believes is persistency always pays off.

Unforgettable Letter

March 30, 2009

At Jakarta Toastmasters Club (JTC) meeting that night, I was sitting besides my dear friend, Imung Hikmah. She is an active woman, full of initiative and energy. These are the reasons why she becomes one of my favorite friends. I saw her for the first time in February 2006 when I was only six months with Toastmasters. And, Imung was a contestant at the area level of Toastmasters International Speech Contest. Her winning speech 'Sweet Revenge' put her all the way up to the Division level and she was placed the first runner-up for Division I.

We became friends when I've started to visit JTC regularly since September 2006. Imung is so expressive and eloquent speaker by far in the club. I admire her ability to write and the way she delivers her speeches. So, that Monday, at a special 'love letter' session, Ivan, our TOM (Toastmasters of the Meeting) asked all of us to write a love letter for anybody and anyone we like or love. For sure, some of us would have a chance to read our letters out loud in front of the audience. When Imung raised her hand asking for a chance to talk, I thought it must be interesting to listen to what she was going to say. However, after only few lines I realized that it was me she was talking about. Praise be! She had written that letter specially for me.

For me,
you are honey bunny sugar cake tummy yummy;
you're kind, you're my sweety pie.
You always make the JTC meeting hot and noisy with your contagious crunchy laugh,
hi hi hi... ha ha ha...
You are passionate laughter creature.
I love you, Vina
I love you.
Please stop humming now!
Just give me your hi hi hi...

Love,
Imung

When I reached home that night, I read Imung's letter over and over again. I was flattered by her witty words and I could see the funny side of them. After being friend with her for quite some time, I knew she really meant it.

I love you, too, Imung and this is the best letter I've ever got since I joined Toastmasters almost four years ago.